PMS Arguments: Turning Conflict to Confection
From that very first icy day that men and women stepped out of their caves to look at each other, PMS has been a monthly factor in their lives and interactions. Although PMS is not a new phenomenon, there are some really quick and easy ways to wrap the male mind around what happens when women are attacked by monthly bouts of mood swings, PMS headaches, and cramps.
Two PMS scenarios:
--You are having a wonderful day with your girlfriend, wife, or other women in your family. You can tell there is something a little wrong, but you don’t know what. Most men will tell me that they are clueless when PMS strikes this scene of domestic bliss, but I think not. You can feel that “uh oh” moment pounce when you know this is not going to be good.
--You wake up and go to the kitchen to partake of a little leaded caffeine in a coffee cup. From the minute you walk into the PMS war zone, verbal shrapnel and disgusted looks are flying past your head. You know there are going to be casualties. You can hear the instinctive chant of “run run run” whizzing in your brain.
Most men on the planet can identify with one, if not both, of these PMS scenarios. If you are asking yourself what is a man to do…then you have come to the right place! Millions of men suffer from second hand PMS every month. Here are some quick and easy tips to end an argument without the battle of blood.
1—Recognize that what is happening during her PMS is not of her control and not aimed at you directly. The defensive need to personalize an argument is present because you feel attacked. But, if you think of PMS more as a venting process, then you will have better results. When she has problems or does not feel good, you are there to help with what is going on right? Same thing…different cause. She needs you on her team and really wants you there…no matter what she says!
2—Realize that PMS symptoms are real. From PMS headaches to PMS mood swings, PMS is a pain for both of you! If your attitude says that her PMS can be cured by smiling or acting as though the whole thing were a big joke, then you are not in touch with the reality that PMS effects everything a woman does from the way she thinks to the clothes she wears to the way she sees herself in the mirror.
3—React with remedies, not solutions. By understanding that PMS is not a reflection of you or your relationship, you can be ready to curb the high tide of PMS and minimize its effects with a PMS care kit (see article “The Proper Care and Feeding of PMS”). Look at it this way, on a regular schedule, most guys either take their car into a mechanic for a tune up or change the oil themselves. Same concept really. Every month, Nature does a tune up so the motor continues to run smoothly.
Here is a lifesaving hint for you: Know the difference between remedies and solutions. Many men believe that they are approaching with an olive branch of peace with comments like “you should see a doctor.” If you are shaking your head because you have been through this argument, then you are not alone. When you provide a solution, you are in effect telling her what she should do. Does it seem obvious? Probably so, but consider how often you like to be told what to do. Now...mix in PMS! Explosion. Try wording your suggestions in such a way that it gives her the option to say YES or NO. For example, “Would you like for me to take you to the doctor?” or “Can I stop by the store and pick up anything for you?” These questions open lines of PMS communication and show that you are interested in helping her.
What is the next steps? Easy! Get over to the article, “The Proper Care and Feeding of PMS” and get a PMS kit together to help warn off the PMS headaches, mood swings, and cramps. Then, sign up for the free PMS email alerts to remind you that the danger is coming your way.
Questions? Comments?? Emotional Outbursts??? That’s why I am here!
